How To Discipline Tweens Efficiently
“Tween” is a word that is used to name those “in-between” stages of childhood and adolescence. Children reach their tween years between the ages of 9-12 years old. At this age, it is very typical for children to want more independence from their parents, yet still require a great deal of assistance from their parents.
When children reached the age of 10, peer pressure and physical appearance become more significant to them, while discipline and authority may become a source of doubt in their drive for independence. For parents, navigating these changes can be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always a solution to every problem. Parents can still address behavioral issues while maintaining a close relationship using appropriate disciplining tactics. You can still assist your tween to develop the skills they will need to succeed in their adolescent years and further.
Here are some of the efficient strategies for tweens:
Lessening privileges (despite what you may think) is a positive punishment, thus, this is part of positive parenting (Skinner, 1971). The goal of this disciplinary method is to reduce the chances of unpleasant conduct occurring again in the future. This is very important because children need to learn that every action has a consequence. Adding more house rules may be an incentive for children who frequently disobey like reducing their time for gaming and social media.
Reducing privileges preserves your authority while also conveying the notion that privileges must be earned. However, doing this must be a reflective process for your child.
Parenting strategies must evolve and adapt in response to your child’s progress. This means that problem-solving alongside your tween is significantly more successful than simply instructing them what to do. The process of problem-solving may include: determining the problem, identifying the reasons behind the determined problem, brainstorming possible solutions, assessing the solutions, progressing solutions into actions, and assessing the outcome of the problem-solving process.
Your tween will be more motivated to improve their conduct if they have a “word” in the problem-solving process.
From what we know, tweens are developing maturity and independence, thus, their preferences are also changing. Tweens need positive intrinsic reinforcement rather than extrinsic. Instead of giving them material rewards, it is more significant for them to be receiving a “thank you” or “I am proud of you.”
A simple reward system can go a long way toward keeping your tweens stay motivated. In this stage, your child may be more open to having his or her conduct changed through a good discussion.
The disciplining process may not go smoothly, and it may be difficult finding possible solutions to every problem, but parents need to be more attentive with their connection to their tweens to give them positive development.